Friday, September 11, 2009

Washington Post neologism - the winners

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

*The winners are:*

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Copyright (c) Dr. Liz Miller

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angus said...

I think they missed a few Liz:
Benign-What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section- A neighbourhood in Rome

Dilate-To live long.

Morbid-A higher offer.

Pelvis-Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative-A letter carrier.

Recovery Room-Place to do upholstery.

Rectum-Nearly killed him.


Dr. Liz Miller said...

I love these ! thanks Lizzie

Anonymous said...

Those were thee 2008 winners as I remember. Do you have the 2009?

Dr. Liz Miller said...

I thought they were this year's - I'll check the reference again